Stockholm 2016 - final!

The biggest night of the year ... !! :-o

A little late starting up as we had some initial problems with the tv set and had to watch the first few minutes on my laptop. Fortunately we figured it out. :-)

OK, so in the opening they are not carrying their flags, but the flag colors spread out behind them instead. I like both, but this is cool. Those random models in geometric outfits are rather distracting though. KAS is not happy. But Calyx thinks that nothing can ever be worse than Düsseldorf, so she think it's fine.

There's Dami! Go Australia!!

Our hosts. Petra with a new dress, but again in a rather similar color scheme. Can no one think outside the box?? Greetings to Europe and the various other countries watching. Thank you to the fans. Describing the new system for listing the votes, but we talked over it. KAS is so negative, she doesn't agree with my assessment of Australia. And she thinks all the other songs suck monkey balls too. Oh well, I know better. >:-)

Belgium - What's the Pressure. Calyx: This looks like it's from the 90s. KAS: The lyrics don't match the melody, I'm confused. But trilltrall is humming along. :-) A colorful and energetic entry to open the show, but not the winner. This is one of the entries that have not been growing on me. Tanumine suggests it as a potential nil-pointer. :-)

Czech Republic - I Stand. Not among my favorites but I'm thrilled for them that they got to the final for the first time. The song is beautiful but forgettable. trilltrall says that it's a mature and sober performance. In other words there is no way he can root for this, he's not middle aged! But he is, actually. :-D A nice presentation, overall nice entry, but forgettable.

The Netherlands - Slow Down. This is among my favorites actually. I love their presentation, and the beat of the song ... it's just so nice to listen to. Calming. And this actually is quite catchy. Easy to sing along to. Calyx says no way will this win, but KAS says that at least it's possible to listen to it without dying. High praise. I like his tattoo. This is quite lovely really. I will be listening to this quite a bit, I think. But yeah, probably a little too slow and quirky to be a winner. :-)

Azerbaijan - Miracle. Now this is a song that has been growing on me. I love the chorus. trilltrall is impressed with all the gold everything. And did you notice than when she sang the word fire, holographic fires burst out behind her. Subtle! :-D Oh, here come the dancers. Tanumine can't stop laughing. Pyrotechnics! A fiery stage from the land of fire.

Hungary - Pioneer. Not among my favorites. Tuck in your shirt, you slob!! KAS says that it's supposed to be cool, I just don't understand it because I'm too old. She's only two months younger! And I may be old-fashioned, but that sloppiness is why young people can't get hired. Growl. Nobody understands about the drum, or the backing singers' outfits. KAS thinks Freddie's hair looks like her hamster's fur. I say this is the lowest point so far. Everyone agrees. Very disappointing, I usually really like Hungary.

Italy - No Degree of Separation. One of the big five - I'm the only one who's heard this entry before. But I haven't seen the presentation. Ooh, colorful. Calyx thinks that this looks like something from the 90s too. Her vocals sound low, is that just me? No, the others agree. This is a beautiful song, but rather forgettable once it's over. The presentation is absolutely stunning. Looks like barne-tv, says trilltrall. :-) But everybody would have liked to hear the lyrics ...

Israel - Made of Stars. N's reaction to the postcard: Boy George did it better. :-) I quite like this entry. Both the song and the presentation. N wants to do the spinning in a giant hula hoop thing with trilltrall. But they don't have the hula hoop. Maybe next year. Aw, this is so pretty. Loveliness!

Bulgaria - If Love Was A Crime. Ooh, I voted for this! trilltrall thinks Poli's outfit looks like she's a visitor from the future. A rather epilepsy-inducing entry, but the song has a very catchy beat. This may be getting some votes from Nannestad tonight.

Sweden - If I Were Sorry. Yawn! This entry is so dull ... ! The others haven't heard it before. N claims that it's like death metal, it's building up to something ... but no, it's not. It's just this for three minutes. KAS wants to know if the song has started yet. trilltrall thinks he must have had too much to drink already, he doesn't understand anything whatsoever. Tanumine is busy eating chips so can't comment, but is shaking her head. OK, that's the whole thing. I have to quite trilltrall's closing comment in Norwegian: Fy faen, det var ræva!! Ahahaha. The arena is going nuts. Must be full of Swedes. At least they don't have to worry about winning again. Hope they get 0 points tonight.

Some chitchat from the hosts. Bite me, stupid Swedes!

Germany - Ghost. trilltrall already doesn't like this, he doesn't like the German songs. KAS disagrees, her two all-time favorite entries are German. No, he won't be persuaded. The song is pretty good, and the presentation too, but her outfit just messes the whole thing up. Several of us have already forgotten what country this is because of her distracting outfit. "You're hurting my eyes" apparently. Oh well. Exactly what I said. I like this song a little less this time around.

France - J'ai cherché. Pretty catchy, but it reminds me of some other song that I can't remember. N thinks that he would perceive this totally differently if he was a woman. Possibly. I'm not really feeling it. This is kind of fun to listen to, but it's not, as KAS says, "hummable". I agree. Ooh, he landed on the moon.

Poland - Color of Your Life. trilltrall is a little upset that Michal isn't wearing socks, but KAS says that he's wrong, it's cool, all the kids are doing that now. She's read it in the paper. I think I would like the entry a little better if it was on the radio. The melody is very beautiful. The extremely dramatic performance is a little distracting. But overall we like it. I respect Michal, he goes all out. We like this. trilltrall will be voting for this. He is now convinced that socks are out. He will immediately stop wearing socks.

KAS and trilltrall are married, FYI. :-)

Chitchat with Petra now! What! No, it's time for Australia!! And now she's transferring us to the party arena next door to hear from Måns! No! Ooh, Carola and Loreen. And what are their all-time favorite songs? Duh, of course Carola would say Hallelujah, that fundamentalist bitch.

Australia - Sound of Silence. Oooh!! And everybody likes it! But of course. No, KAS doesn't like it. But of course. Oh, Dami can really sing. The presentation is a little weird, but who cares. If there is any justice in the world then this is the winner. Her glove jewelery thing! Her sparkly dress! The choreography!! My heart awakes! N says that this is truly Eurovision. The Australians are teaching us what the contest is all about. Yes! They have been watching the contest for 30 years and learning, learning ... Now it's their time to sweep us all off our feet and win!!

Cyprus - Alter Ego. Meh. N says he's ready for rock'n'roll. Well, I guess this is the ESC version. Rock'n'disco? KAS doesn't hate it. A tremendous compliment! I am indifferent. It's fine when I'm listening to it, but I also forget it quite quickly. But I'm glad I didn't get epilepsy.

Serbia - Goodbye (Shelter). N is annoyed that NRK's commentator is mispronouncing Sanja's name. He is Serbian so I think he's on to something. Apparently it's difficult to get it wrong. I quite like this, anyway. She's a good singer. I think they really don't need those backing dancers though. They're not necessary, the entry is strong enough on its own. Whoops! N tried to do some complicated dance move and totally failed. But now Calyx is helping out, in her way. LOL!

N and Calyx are married too. :-)

Lithuania - I've Been Waiting For This Night. N is dancing to this too. Hah. I don't really know what to say about this. It's just annoying. I actually listen to Love Is Blind quite a lot, but I will not be listening to this. Boring and repetitive. What were they thinking.

Croatia - Lighthouse. Haha, excellent joke from our commentator. Everybody's fired up about her dress. But obviously it will be torn away at a strategic point! Hah! N is shouting Cranberries, Cranberries ... This is another very pretty song that is very quickly forgotten once I'm done listening. But a good performance.

Russia - You Are the Only One. A visually stunning entry. Of course nobody is catching anything of the song, we're all enthralled by the presentation. The song is pretty good too. trilltrall demands an explanation! N says that this will definitely win, because now everyone wants to see this again. He's on to something ... !!

Spain - Say Yay!. Not happy that they aren't singing in Spanish. Hideous outfit! Oh, this is so much worse than I thought it would be. trilltrall wants them to leave the stage immediately. And here comes their special dance. We're shouting No, no ... but N wants to dance the dance with trilltrall. But omg, she fell! :-o That can't have been part of it, the screen went black. Now I feel sorry for her. But she's back on her feet! But the entry sucks anyway!!

Chitchat with Petra about souvenirs.

Latvia - Heartbeat. If anyone wants to take a nap, this might be the time. I don't understand the presentation ... and I don't like his performance. I've forgotten the song already. Bah.

Ukraine - 1944. An extremely dramatic performance but a song that I just can't get a handle on. The presentation is quite striking but the song just ... I can't get grip on it. Incomprehensible to me that this is one of the favorites. Must be because everybody hates Russia.

Malta - Walk on Water. Also not among my favorites. The guys are impressed with the opening of the presentation. trilltrall is impressed that Malta has sent Mariah Carey. I don't get this entry either ... why did we not get through, while this did?? Mysterious.

Georgia - Midnight Gold. And this bullcrap??! Haha, N liked it for three seconds, and then when they started with the split screen thing he started shouting No no no ... :-D I guess I'm happy with a different genre in the contest, but I just am so annoyed with this. Also I don't want epilepsy. Seriously, what is this?? The longest three minutes in Eurovision history.

There is something messed up with the production though. Not just on Italy. It's hard to hear the vocals.

Finally it's over ... !!

Austria - Loin d'ici. The sweetest entry tonight. As sweet as sugar! N thinks she must be a devil worshipper, no one can be this adorable for real. She probably drinks goat's blood. I love this! Obviously not more than Australia. But I totally love it. French is the perfect language to sing this in. The presentation is wonderful. I love it! And everyone agrees that it's super cute. We all agree! Wonders never cease.

United Kingdom - You're Not Alone. This is actually not complete garbage. So kudos to the British for that. But it sounded better in the video. This is actually nowhere near as good as I remembered it. And I don't think they will do anywhere near as well as I originally thought.

Armenia - LoveWave. KAS claims that Iveta is wearing a bathing suit. N says it sounds like Sonic Youth. But that was when the song had just barely begun. Now they are all weirded out like I told them they would be. trilltrall is whispering in his corner of the couch, Oh my god, this is so bad. This is so weird. Calyx is cracking up.

That's it! Ending on a bizarre note. Måns and Petra are back - Petra in green. So there are other colors available! Haha, a Vicious comment! :-D Now explaining about the voting. And the lines are open ... now!

Calyx and Tanumine are going to vote for Australia. It's their only option, they say. N wants to vote for Armenia. :-D No, now he wants to vote for Boy George.

First runthrough.

OK, two votes for Austria, and around ten for Australia. Calyx was talking to  me, I lost count. :-) KAS voted for Austria and trilltrall for Australia and Poland.

Måns in the green room, with all the performers and Justin Timberlake for some reason. WTF is he doing here. Yankee go home!! Seriously, I don't get it. Also am not a fan. But whoever it had been I wouldn't have wanted to see an American on stage tonight. >:-(

An homage to Swedish pop music through the years. Yes, their entry tonight is sleep-inducingly boring, but no one can deny that they are a powerhouse in northern Europe when it comes to pop music. This was fun. :-)

And now Justin Timberlake. Disney's biggest star through the ages. I hope this isn't the entire interval entertainment, but I'm afraid it will be. Oh well, still better than the tribute to their hopelessly dysfunctional multiculturalism that I was afraid SVT was going to be forcefeeding us. But Jebus this is boring. Now he's going to perform a brand new song - the perfect time for a toilet break, in other words. I need to get rid of that pink champagne.

Whew, glad that's over. A big hand for all the performers. The second runthrough.

Måns on stage with the junior winner. Will she sing?? No, just wave. Huh.

Petra in a new dress - black this time. Now to teach us how to win the ESC. Hah, this should be good. Haha, yes it's hilarious. Ooh, Alexander Rybak! Ahahahaha, this is brilliant!! Who needs Justin Timberlake! trilltrall wants to vote for this. :-D

Lynda Woodruff live. Hopefully not for very long. No, just long enough for Måns and Petra to catch their breaths and change their clothes.

More of that revisionist documentary. But this part is actually pretty funny. Although that bit about the violent youth gangs in Stockholm would have been funnier if there hadn't been actual violent youth gangs in Stockholm. But of course since they are immigrants we can't mention them. Oh well.

The voting is over ... ! Well, I've done my duty. Fingers crossed for Australia!! But first, Måns gets to sing. Not Heroes, fortunately.

No, dammit, there's Heroes anyway. Sheesh.

Petra in pink, explaining how the votes will be presented this year. Should be interesting.

And we're on ... !! Austria gives Sweden a lot of points. But the 12 goes to Australia! Yes! OK, I can't list all of the points. I have to pay attention. :-)

When so many of the points are just added automatically, it's a little tricky to keep up. But I don't care because Australia is crushing the competition!! Yes!! Of course this is only the jury votes. Maybe the popular vote will be totally different. Fingers crossed ... ! Incomprehensible that Ukraine is doing so well. But haha, look at Germany. trilltrall is sad that Poland is doing so badly.

Måns in the green room. Talking to the Australian contingent. Dami is so excited that she doesn't even remember what her country is called. :-)

EBU is right, this is definitely more exciting. It looks like we can tell what's going on, but actually we have no clue yet. Australia is crushing everyone. But that can totally change. Eep! trilltrall says that he think they will win anyway - half the audience has voted for them because they like the song, and the other half has voted for them because they want to see what will happen if they win. :-)

OK, Australia has won the juries over, very conclusively. This is so exciting!! What have the European audiences voted?? I am atremble ... !!

Jon Ola Sand is also excited. Super excited! :-D The popular vote is confirmed as correct. Eep!! I can hardly wait!

Come on, Australia!!!!

OMG Australia got the 4th highest score! Will it be Ukraine?? OMG! Panic!

It's not Australia!! OMFG come on Russia!!!!

Noooo!!! It's Ukraine!! FUCK!! That song ... !?

I am proud to say I did not vote for this year's winner.

N says that he can actually understand it - as an eastern European he feels that there is a sensibility to the song that resonates with him. Calyx says that singing about death and massacres is a surefire way to success in eastern Europe.

OK, I now conclude two things from this result.

1: This new way of announcing the votes makes it super exciting and should be kept as standard.
2: Everyone hates Russia.

Sob!!! :-(