ESC 2017 - Norway's national selection

Eep! I hardly dare to think how this will turn out. o_O Kind of fun intro ... would seem problematic that the singers can't sing very well, but this is Melodi Grand Prix, so obviously it's what we're expecting. I do like hearing old/oldish entries performed in a totally different tempo and style. :-)

All the contestants telling us how much they want to win. Yawn.

Very briefly presenting the international jury - or rather just showing them off. I don't like the idea of the international jury. I don't want us to cater to other competing countries, I want us to choose our own entry because WE like it. Grumble.

They would do better to present the Norwegian jury ...

Now on with the contestants ... !

Song # 1 - You Got Me by Rodrigo Pencheff, Gustav Eurén, Karl Eurén, Andreas Grube, Niclas Arn and Stella Mwangi, performed by Stella Mwangi and Alexandra Rotan. I like that one of the singers has also cowritten the song. As for the song itself, it's ... the best so far. >:-) It's pretty catchy. I like Alexandra's sections much better than Stella's, but oviously it's the contrast that they're betting on to make it stick in people's minds. Hideous outfits. They really are getting the audience going ... ! This is a really cheerful song that I think people will enjoy listening to.

Song # 2 - Talk to the Hand by Joakim With Steen, Jonas McDonnell, Magnus Klausen and Aleksander Walmann, performed by Aleksander Wallmann. Personally I would never even consider voting for an entry with this incredibly rude title. The title of the song is literally "I don't want anything to do with you". Well, fuck you too then. So I don't give a shit what this song is like. But unsurprisingly it is repetitious and has no personality. Boo.

Song # 3 - Scandilove by Stefan Törnby and Ida Maria, and apparently a bunch of others that NRK haven't listed on their website? Performed by Ida Maria. At least someone who is a seasoned performer and can give a professional performance. That's a good beginning. But I've never listened to her, and I almost never listen to the radio (only if someone else turns it on). Turns out she's a horrible singer. :-o And the song is awful too and her outfit AND performance is awful. She seems to have a bunch of fans in the audience. They should get their ears checked. Nil points ... !!! :-o

This does one thing for me and that is to make me wish I was watching Voice of the Century.

Song # 4 - Light Me Up by Nicoline Berg Kaasin, Johan Larsson and Emilie Adams, performed by Nicoline Berg Kaasin. However shitty this entry is, it's guaranteed to be a thousand times better than the last one, so yay. But sheesh, their outfits. At least this singer can sing a little bit. But the song is ... boring, more than anything else. Got repetitive real quick. Yawn.

Going to the green room to talk to some writers and some of the performers who are already done. Blather that only their parents care about.

Song # 5 - I Like I Like I Like by Tom Hugo Hermansen, performed by himself. :-) Performing his own song, that's a big plus for me. Now that's a proper Eurovision outfit! :-D Apparently this guy is a professional songwriter and he writes a lot of songs for Japanese boybands. I think I can tell. :-D Well, it's hardly Ibsen, but it's fun. It has a good beat and seems to be getting the audience going. But now it looks like they have too many people on stage - that's something I really take issue with, because it means that we aren't voting for a realistic presentation. NRK should not be allowing that.

Chitchat from the hosts ... they're going to talk to some of the international jury members. The Swede of course making completely OTT comments and portraying things unrealistically ... as expected. :-D

Song # 6 - Stop the Music by Charla K, Per Gessle and Alex Shield, performed by Charla K. Per Gessle competing is actually a pretty big deal. Let's see. Or hear. Hm. Voice OK. Sequined dress, that's often a hit. But a whole choir on stage ... !! Seriously, that's ridiculous. I can't in good conscience vote for this, because we can't send this. What we would send would be something other than what they are presenting. NRK, get a grip! The song itself is ... very nice to listen to, but forgettable.

Song # 7 - Tengo otra by Alejandro Fuentes, Angel Arce Pututi and Alejandro Pututi, performed by Alejandro Fuentes. Singing in Spanish, yes, that worked out so well for us last time we tried it. :-D But I am happy to see all kinds of languages in the ESC and he is after all a native Spanish speaker. So my mind is open to this entry. It is, however, closed to his blue hair. o_O As for the song, it's, well ... Boring. Just really really boring. Confetti cannot save it.

Song # 8 - Moren din by Vidar André Mohaugen, Jonas Thomassen and Martin Thomassen, performed by Vidar Villa. A song with Norwegian lyrics in the Norwegian ESC selections ... ! What's next, a unicorn? Apparently this is the song that is the most popular among this year's lineup in terms of streaming. Haha, hilarious lyrics. And only six people on stage! :-D Charming singer and a song with a good beat. And girls in sequined dresses playing trumpets. Hah, I like this one. :-D

Song # 9 - Who We Are by Kjetil Mørland, performed by Rebecca Thorsen. Same writer as A Monster Like Me, which is a beautiful song. And this girl can sing, wow! Great dress. Kind of a wannabe powerful ballad, but certainly beautiful to listen to. Not very memorable, I don't think. I'm sure it'll grow on me but it's not an instant earworm. But certainly one of the best of the night.

Song # 10 - That's How You Write A Song, written and performed by Alexander Rybak. Our little hobbit is back again ... !! :-o I am SO looking forward to this and at the same time dreading it. Because if it's not good then ... that'll be so bad. :-( But we know that he can do it, so maybe it'll be good? Even great? I'm loving his thoughts on why he decided to make his comeback. :-) Excellent intro! Although may be considered a little bit of a Heroes ripoff ... just in terms of the presentation. A great performance, very confident. A wonderful topic for a song. He's not a great singer but he's an excellent performer, lots of stage presence and extremely confident and professional. Now also with the violin too, naturally. :-) But now there's too many people on stage ... ! Oh noes! Will still vote for him though. Rybak ftw. He makes me forget my principles.

First runthrough ...

Going through some scores from the international juries. Complete with embarrassing praise from the various foreigners.

Rybak's doing well. He's going to win tonight. I feel it in my bones. :-)

I've voted five times for Rybak, twice for Stella & Alexandra and once for Rebecca. My civic duty done.

Talking to the Estonian jury leader. They've picked the right song but still, the hosts' conversation with him really shows up why we shouldn't have these international juries. "We're here to help you pick the winner" - hello, they're competing too! Why would they want to help us? o_O IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE!!!1!

Back to the hosts, talking with Alexander and Rebekka. And visiting an MGP party in Trondheim. :-D And a choir serenading a woman at a bus stop because she watches the show, awesome. :-)

Interval entertainment - Anita Skorgan and Karoline Krüger playing piano and singing a duet. Wow. :-) And that song is so beautiful ... !

Various content from social media ... and another serenade to unsuspecting fans of the contest. Adorable!!

Revealing the top four. My guess:
That's How You Write A Song
Who We Are
You Got Me
Moren din, maybe?

Who We Are is in.
You Got Me is in.
Talk to the Hand is in! NOES!
That's How You Write A Song. Of course! The winner! :-D

Now there's a new system with the voting among the top four ... so now we're voting again. I voted five times for Rybak. :-)

Hah, now they're doing the serenade for an unsuspecting audience member ... ! :-D

Ah, now we're getting to see some of the entries from other countries that have already made their selections. I'm really looking forward to seeing how the Danish viking will do :-D And Finland ... o_O

Now to whittle the top four down to two ... I've voted five more times for Rybak. :-D Who We Are will get through this round, is my guess.

Yep.

Now the last two, and obviously That's How You Write A Song. :-)

Yes! Of course!

And now these two will get to perform their songs again.

Rebecca has maybe gained a little confidence :-) - she certainly gives an excellent performance this time. It's really a quite beautiful song. I will be happy to have this represent us in Lisbon. But I still want the hobbit to win. :-)

Another excellent performance from Rybak. Imagine all the extra press we'll get if we send him. Let's send him! I've voted five more times. :-D

Aah ... ! Aleksander Wallmann got knocked out but now he's back on stage - Jowst is here to perform last year's winning song. Which still isn't any better than it was a year ago ... :-D But it looks like they had a great time representing us in 2017 and of course that is a very good thing. :-)

And the winner is ... ooh, they have Rebecca's songwriter on stage, that's great. Because he is the one who is actually competing.

Alexander Rybak! Yes! But why don't we get to hear the actual scores?? New system OK, old system better ...

Yay for Alexander Rybak!! Now I can hold my head up high in Lisbon. Some of my friends and me are going to be in the arena for the first semifinal, and unfortunately Norway's competing in the second ... that's a shame, it would have been great to see Rybak on stage. But we're going home from Portugal on the Wednesday and KAS and I have plans on Wednesday night. Oh well, we'll have to figure something out here at home. I have an idea already ... ;-)

Congratulations to Alexander and to my fellow Norwegians!!! :-D

ESC 2016 - Norway

Our big night ... !! :-D

OK, starting well ... funny in a way that is actually pretty funny, while also poking fun at the Swedes. I like it.

Now up from the submarine and onto the Oslo Spektrum stage. Nice segue. And, haha, they've got impersonators. A not very convincing Conchita and Lordi. This is a really cool introduction, better than they've had for a while. Cool. Maybe it wasn't such a bad idea to hire Jan Fredrik Karlsen.

I have to say that if they cut out the national semifinals and instead put their energy and resources into making an intro to the show of this quality, then I totally support it.

A glimpse from the eighth Lithuanian semi which is going on right now. Eight, that is a lot ... !!

Going over the rules ... and we're going to be allowed to vote from the beginning of the show again, I resent that. Should definitely change that back. >:-(

Song #1: Laika by Tonje Gjevjon, performed by The Hungry Hearts feat. Lisa Dillan. Now this is MGP!! Oh my fucking god. What is this. We are confused. How can anyone think that this could have any potential ... like, anywhere? :-o A good thing too! We're laughing our heads off now, but we don't have to be the laughing stock of Europe if we don't need to. I wonder if their English pronunciation really is that bad, or if it's supposed to sound like they have Russian accents? Sheesh. At least they have zero chance of getting anywhere since ANYTHING else will have to be better than this.

Maybe I already should have mentioned that I haven't heard any of the songs yet, just snatches of them. So these are totally my first impressions. :-)

Song #2: Into the Fire by Torstein Flakne, Anne Judith Wik, Mark Spiro and Hallgeir Rustan, performed by Stage Dolls. About what you'd expect from this band. Fine. A perfectly acceptable rock song, but with very little personality. Not what you'd call catchy. We wouldn't get anywhere with this, but we wouldn't make fools of ourselves in any way either. So far my favorite by about 1000 percent.

Song #3: Traces by Stine Hole Ulla, Ingrid Skretting and Trude Kristin Klæboe, performed by Stine Hole Ukka. A Disney-style ballad, apparently. Very pretty singer, with HUGE eyes. One of the songwriters was in the grade below me at school, uninterestingly enough. Pretty good voice. Peculiar presentation, if I'm being diplomatic. Ooh, but very pretty with all the lights in the audience. A enjoyable ballad although comparing it to your average Disney is overstating it a bit. Singer rather dull and anemic. Probably my new favorite now, although I would to be honest prefer to not vote for any of these. Fingers crossed.

Song #4: Stand Up by Danne Attlerud, Michael Clauss and Thomas Thörnholm, performed by Makeda. Now this one I quite expect to like. The singer has a pretty good voice and I think she'll have much more energy on stage. She does ... but her outfit is horrendous. Out of this world hideous.  And she's surrounded by guys in snazzy formal suits. Bizarre. What is this song about ... I can't pay attention to the lyrics, I'm so distracted by her clothes. OMG. Who would allow her to be seen in public like this?? :-o The song isn't half bad - I think, I could hardly hear it over her outfit. :-o

trilltrall is having an attack of sudden anger every three minutes because he's so annoyed by Karlsen popping up in all the artist presentations. He's shouting at the screen, "I want to SHOOOT you!!" :-D

Song #5: Anyway by Tommy Nilsen and Ronny Nilsen, performed by Pegasus. A power ballad performed by ... poodle rockers, apparently. Actually not half bad. This show is on a rising curve, each song is better than the last. Or I should say "better". ;-) I could vote for this. In fact I think I will vote for this ... but will have to consider the other half of the entries first. But so far this is the best, IMO. Although of course there is nothing so far that has a snowball's chance in hell in Stockholm. :-)

Ooh, pyrotechnics ... ! trilltrall wants us to just send the pyrotechnics show and forget about all the songs.

Song #6: Feel da Rush by Fredrik Auke, Simen Auke, Mikkel Christiansen, Trond Opsahl and Christoffer Huse, performed by Freddy Kalas. KAS and trilltrall are rooting for this because the singer is from Drammen apparently. And he's one of the favorites. But his likely victory will be prevented by the professional juries, because although this is fun and very catchy, we would of course be thrashed to within an inch of our lives in Stockholm. :-D He gets the arena going like crazy though. I kind of like this, but it's very embarrassing to hear a Jamaican accent from such an extremely white person. But this guy obviously doesn't care about embarrassing himself ... or us. :-D

Can I mention as I do every year that it's SO annoying that NRK allow more than six people on stage. It's actually a kind of fraud, IMO.

Song #7: Afterglow by Laila Samuelsen, The Beatgees and Jan Weigel, performed by Laila Samuels (obv. the songwriter's stage name). Very good presentation. I like her voice. Energetic performance. Beautiful melody, maybe not super memorable ... but the half naked dancer cavorting among the audience may jog people's memories during the recap. And quite powerful while you're listening. So far at least this clearly gets my vote.

Song #8: History by André Lindahl, Jeanette Olsson and Michael Jay, performed by Elouiz. Pretty singer with excellent diction. Nice outfit, but weird presentation. Those store dummies are totally gonna start dancing at some point. I like her voice. Good melody. I really like the chorus here. Hm. This is actually quite good. This one or the previous entry ... we wouldn't have egg on our faces with either of these. Ooh, pyrotechnics ... !

Song #9: Anna Lee by David Bjoerk, Andreas Moe, David Eriksen and Alexander Austheim, performed by Suite 16. Norway's answer to One Direction, according to Karlsen. In other words, not my type of music. Never been the boyband type. But now am obviously no longer in the target audience. :-) Not sure how many of those who are actually watch this ... but they have a bunch of fans apparently, who call themselves "suitehearts" ... and the teenyboppers are the best, or alternatively worst, at voting in these sms vote things. Wild screaming in the audience. This is relatively catchy, but I still don't quite see it. Although I'm sure we wouldn't do badly with this.

Song #10: Icebreaker by Agnete Johnsen, Gabriel Alares and Ian Curnow, performed by Agnete Johnsen. I like it when people write their own songs in this contest. And this is another of the big favorites tonight. Well deserved, I'd say. Good song, well presented, pretty singer with a good voice and a good stage presence. Really nothing wrong with this, it just should have been a little catchier. But you can't have everything.

OK, that's the lineup. Now the first recap, Let me make my prediction for the first round. Four songs will get through, and my guess is that we'll be seeing again ... Freddy Kalas, One Direction Suite 16, and two female soloists. Laila Samuels and Agnete Johnsen, probably.

Awesome interval entertainment - Kate Gulbrandsen performing Mitt liv ... ! trilltrall is beside himself with happiness, singing along and cheering. Wow. He's four years older than KAS and me, I guess this is evidence of the generation gap, because we totally don't know the lyrics to that song by heart. :-D Ooh, and our performers from last year with their beautiful A Monster Like Me. This time with NRK's full choir. Stunning song that gets better every time I hear it. And Debra looks amazing, even better than in Vienna.

So I've done my civic duty - I've sent five votes each for Afterglow and Icebreaker. Fingers crossed we won't make fools of ourselves in Stockholm. That's really all I ask. KAS demands that we get to the final too, but that's really more than I sign up for. We're Norway. All we can ask is not to totally embarrass ourselves. We may not get even that wish ...

Second recap, but it's too late, the first round of voting is over.

The four "gold finalists" are in ... !! Oh, the excitement. Afterglow!! Yes! Laila performs again, entry still excellent. :-)

Second finalist ... Anna Lee. No surprise there. I like this idea of having some of the performers' most obsessive fans making a speech to appeal to the audience before the second performance. :-) Wow, these kids can't sing for shit.

Third finalist - Icebreaker! Yes! Again no surprise. My powers of perception are excellent tonight. Agnete's speechmaker isn't a fan but a former coworker of some kind. He is less certain of victory than the other two, probably more realistic. :-)

The fourth and last finalist - Feel da Rush. I knew it. OMG this idiot. Please, professional jury members, save us from this total embarrassment. Ha ha, his biggest fans are ten years old! :-D But his speechmaker was the best of the bunch. :-D But that accent ... ! To be fair though he always sings in Norwegian, this is his first ever song in English. No excuse, but maybe an explanation. ;-)

Third recap. I've sent five votes for Afterglow. But I'll be happy with any of these entries except for Feel da Rush. 75% chance of a positive result as far as I'm concerned. And I trust in the professionals. :-)

More of this wonderful interval entertainment, I love it! We've seen a lot of glimpses of MGP history so far, but I've missed Voi voi, and here it is. A tribute duet to Nora Brockstedt. Wonderful. And now other classics. Wow, trilltrall knows a lot of these old GP lyrics, I'm impressed. A hidden side to him is revealing itself. :-D Oh, Optimist ... !! We all know the lyrics to that one ... ! :-D And while we're on the subject of Jahn Teigen ... :-D Will we see him on stage?? It's the 40th anniversary of Voodoo, after all ... :-o Yes, the man himself ... ! :-D

I love this. All the dancers are jumping around like crazy and Teigen is just standing there. That's all he has to do. He's the man! :-D He just accepting the adulation. :-) An applause for Jahn Teigen - definitely!!

And now the votes are in. Oh, I forgot - now they're keeping all their votes from the first round too. Now there's a thought. Going to the first part of the country, Midt-Norge ... and they've got Icebreaker on top, quite significantly ahead too. I'm getting a feeling about that song. It'll probably be our entry. Northern Norway have the songs in the exact same order as Midt-Norge ... and Agnete is a northerner so she gets lots of votes from there. LOTS! Wow! :-o The south country next ... Icebreaker on top, again significantly ahead. But there's most people live in the east country and of course this is where Freddy Kalas is from ... KAS says that maybe we will give him a hundred thousand votes and he'll win at the last moment. Fingers crossed that we won't ... ! :-D

Do they add the first sets of votes at the end? And do we even have professional juries this year?? :-o

The west country have Icebreaker on top too, quite a bit. But now the east country ... ! Well, it won't be Afterglow, alas. Come on, Icebreaker ... ! Wow! Almost 20 000 votes ahead of Feel da Rush in second place. Yes!! We have chosen an excellent entry! Is this really Norway? The fourth really good song in a row! :-D

Aw, and she's so happy. This was a good choice all round. We will definitely not make fools of ourselves this year. My wish came true! :-D

Happy 75th!!

King Harald V is 75 years old today. That seems old. But he still seems to be full of vigor and zest for life. He's certainly come a long way. :-)

ESC 2012 - Norway, round three

I watched this, but wasn't able to blog it, because board game night. :-) I made notes though, while we played Mystery of the Abbey. :-D

This was the last round before the final, three of the final ten were to be selected. Then the jury's wild card would be 'drawn' a few days later. Oh, the excitement. ;-) I really liked Stokstad's dress.

Entry #1: Stay by Peter Boström, Figge Boström and Tooji, performed by Tooji. SO American. Could have been catchy, but just doesn't have the personality. He doesn't have much of a singing voice, very weak. An OK entry, but very forgettable. We forgot it before we were even done watching it. The performance is professional, but the song has no character, and the singer is ... bad. Sorry. I would never vote for this and I don't think many other Europeans would either.

Entry #2: Si by Marthe Valle, Bjarte Ludvigsen, Jens Kristian Rimau and Anders Bjelland, performed by Marthe Valle. Great that she's singing in Norwegian. Also always good to have had the singer contributing to their own entry. (I may forget to mention this sometimes, but you can take it as given that this is always my opinion on the issue. :-) Good theme for an entry, and I love that she's using her own dialect. But this just isn't catchy enough. The melody is too even, there's no hook to it. The audience won't remember this ... not in Baku, but not in Florø either, so that won't be a problem.

Entry #3: Things Change by Bobby Bare, performed by Petter Øien and Bobby Bare. NRK must have changed the rules without telling us, because last time I checked, each entry had to be at least 50% Norwegian. Ie, no foreigner could compete without having collaborated with a Norwegian citizen. (And remember, with this entry, only Bare is competing. It's the composers and songwriters that are the competitors, so Øien is not taking part in the actual competition, only in the performence.) I liked the old rule. >:-( What I also don't like is this song. Sheesh! It is WAY too American. Catchy as far as this genre goes, but it is not an ESC song. Germany sent something like this in 2006 and it went ... OK. They came 14th. I question whether we would do as well with this. This is too ... there's no English word for it, in Norwegian we would call it traust. The kids won't like this. And generally down east it won't go down well. Nothing wrong with the song, but it's inappropriate for this setting, IMO. I thought it might do well here though since I suspect that it's to a large extent the older generations who vote in this country.

Entry #4: Sammen by Sigve Bull and El Axel, performed by Yaseen and Julie Maria. These teenyboppers will probably do well since they have a big built-in fan base among the segment that is too young to be out partying on Saturday nights. ;-) The song though ... it's in Norwegian, which is good, but it's rap, which is not good. Enough with the rap already, it doesn't work! Too American. And I'm sorry, but it's not too clever to send an immigrant. The performance is OK, but the entry as a whole isn't a winner. It's too immature. The theme is unoriginal, although who would notice that. :-D And there are way way too many people on stage. NRK need to stop doing this, they're tricking the audience. >:-(

Entry #5: The Greatest Day by Håvard Lothe, performed by Håvard Lothe Band. A love song from a different angle, I kind of like that. But that's mostly all I like too. Again pretty American, not too smart. This is a very generic song. Not very catchy. A standard pop song, definitely not a winner. No real hook, no personality. Meh. Forgot it while I was listening.

Entry #6: Euphoria by Silya Nymoen, performed by Silya Nymoen. OK, so, she's performing her own entry, that's good. I also like the title. Otheriwse ... catchy but slutty. Gets pretty enervating pretty soon. It's an eye-catching act, but it's not what you would call classy. She's got a lot of energy on stage but she's not a very good singer. So ... middling, I guess. But yeah, it catches your eye. Maybe enough to get through.

Entry #7: Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time by Chris Barron, Erik Røe, Arne Hovda and Hans Petter Aaserud, performed by the Canoes. Now here's something that's original but not slutty. That's more my kind of combo. This would stand out. The title is really good and the lyrics are cool. I like this. They had some problems with their performance, just technical difficulties beyond their control, but once those were worked out they gave a good show. It's low key but good entertainment. Latvia sent something in 2007 that this reminds me of, they did OK. These guys would be cool to see again, I like this. So of course assumed it wouldn't get through. ;-)

Entry #8: Sailors by Lise Karlsnes and Thomas Eriksen, performed by Lise Karlsnes. The night's big name. The kind that everyone is so sure will get through that nobody bothers to vote. ;-) I was pretty sure from the start that she would get through. The performance is professional but the outfit is tacky. It would actually have been better with Karlsnes alone on stage, IMO. She should definitely have the confidence to carry that off. The presentation of the song is cool but would have been better without the backing. Decisions, decisions ...

I voted twice for the Canoes. Hardly had time to guess who'd make it what with the murderer running loose and all our desperate attempts to catch him. I was kind of surprised by the results - entries 4, 1 and 3 got through. None of which would stand even a fighting chance in Baku, alas. Entry #8 didn't make it, that was a surprise. But later she turned up as the wild card. That was less of a surprise. :-)

ESC 2012: Norway, round two

Wheee ... !! :-D

No family members present (at least not any two-legged ones ;-) so liveblogging is on ... ! I love my pathetic life. :-D

There's very little by way of intros this year. Just straight on with the show. Larvik is hosting this round, their first time hosting. Marte Stokstad in a pretty cool dress, but she's standing funny. Huh. My mother ranted so much against Stokstad last Saturday, she must have prejudiced me against her without my noticing it ... o_O

Entry #1: Keeps On Dancing by Cocktail Slippers, performed by Cocktail Slippers. I've been looking forward to this entry. It makes me think about my dream of one day seeing Katzenjammer represent Norway in the ESC. ;-) Katzenjammer would be amazing. But these girls ... aren't quite on that level. I really like the chorus, but the verse is way too ... bland. Their performance could be more energetic, the song could be catchier, the singer's voice could be better, the whole thing could just have been a lot ... better. I like it, but I haz disappoint all the same. Fun with a girl band, but doesn't have the personality to be a big hit. Alas. So far the best entry though. ;-) I wouldn't be unhappy with this as our entry, but I'm pretty dang sure it doesn't have what it takes. I do like it that they've written their own entry though.

Entry #2: I've Got You by Thom Hell and Isabel Ødegård, performed by Isabel Ødegård. Again, good that the performer has at least participated in writing the song. Nice dress. A voice that's rather weak, but with personality. The song is very low key, the voice kind of makes the whole thing. The melody is sweet but this is probably too forgettable. The bridge is very good though. A charming and sweet entry. She's got the audience going, that's always good. But there's no real hook to the song and although the performance as a whole is good this would be forgotten too soon.

Entry #3: Make It Better by Hanne Sørvaag, Tommy Berre and Tommy Fredvang, performed by Tommy Fredvang. Kudos as above. Major pros he's collaborated with, so this song should be good. Unusual opening to the performance, is that a good sign? :-) Ooh! This is good! A very confident singer and a sudden rush of music, that can really work to make the audience remember the entry. His voice isn't necessarily very good, but certainly good enough for the ESC. ;-) He's good looking and that's usually at least as important. :-D The melody is catchy and the lyrics simple. We may be on to something here. Top of the list so far.

Entry #4: Another Heartache by Rikke Lie, Maria Marcus and Niclas Lundin, performed by Rikke Lie. Another singer-songwriter, that's a plus. But weird dress. The singer is playing the piano, that's unusual, may be a plus. The song itself ... meh. Nothing wrong with it, but I feel like I've forgotten it already. Pretty singer, not a strong voice, but again, with personality. Character, whatever. The song is way too bland and forgettable. And WTF is with the backing musicians??? The audience seems to love it but sheesh, what are they on? Totally doesn't mesh with the song's message ... or the melody for that matter. And why show us something that can't be used in Baku?? At least one thumb down for this entry, primarily on the performance.

Entry #5: Crush by Beyond 51, performed by Malin Reitan. A singer from the Junior ESC and a songwriting team that's already been represented in the real ESC (sorry, kids). By the extremely unpopular Haba haba, but still. I dig that song. :-) This one I've heard really bad things about though. What an outfit ... !! And again too many people on stage. Why do they do that?? In a way they're lying to the audience. There's no way we can get what we're voting for with these entries. >:-( I also don't like the silly dance moves, however many they are. >:-( A pretty girl, professional performance, but a very weak voice. Catchy song, but way too juvenile. I seriously hope this won't get anywhere, but she has a lot of fans - and of exactly the right voting age in these circumstances - so she may well get through. Not a big problem, Nora al-Jabri would crush her in the final. >:-) But seriously, this is total plastic. Let's not vote for this. Too American and way too plasticky.

Entry #6: Ola nordmann by Glen Hauger and Lars-Erik Blokkhus, performed by Plumbo. The song is written by two of the band members and they're singing in Norwegian, kudos for that. I really feel like sending a vote their way as a matter of principle. The song itself is ... pretty catchy, or at least the chorus is catchy. The verse, as usual, a little more bland. But not too bad. A bit of an international flavor to the entry too with the flute and what not. Not a winner, but certainly not bad. They deserve to get through if for no other reason than that they're the only ones tonight who are singing in their own language. o_O Also nice with some guys on stage, and something that kind of resembles rock. Not at all a bad entry that definitely stands a chance.

Entry #7: You And I by Minnie-Oh, performed by Minnie-Oh. Everyone's singing their own songs tonight! Some of them have designed their own costumes too, and it shows. Ouch. This isn't getting through. Kind of catchy, but a weak singer, annoying synthesized music, a repetitive melody. I seriously hope we won't have to hear this again. I doubt this will appeal to the masses. Unless of course the blacklight and crazy light effects will do the trick. Kind of fancy with the Kali arms but ... no. Nah. Let's not vote for this.

Entry #8: Shapeshifter by Silya Nymoen and Rikke Normann, performed by Rikke Normann. Again with too many people on stage. Sheesh. NRK, what are you thinking? Another weak singer who doesn't want to 'work' with anything other than music. Pretty catchy song, but what is the title supposed to mean? If anything? I'm not sure how the dancers' costumes tie into the song's ... message, if that's the word I mean. A messy entry that would need a lot of work if it were to win ... but it won't. Problem solved. :-D Nope, not a winner. So far tonight - or in fact this year - I can't begin to guess which of these songs could make it to Baku. Except Somewhere Beautiful, possibly. Well, we may well not have seen the winner yet at all. But this one definitely isn't it.

That's it ... !! I have to say that the lineup tonight is pretty even, but not strong. Alas. Gotta think a little bit how I'm going to vote here. :-) Can I just complain a little before I do that Per Sundnes is WAY too quick to grab the mike away from his interviewees?? He hardly ever lets them finish talking. What's up with that? Every time ...

OK, so, I've voted twice for Make It Better and once for Ola nordmann. In good conscience I can't vote for anyone else. And I hardly dare to venture a guess as to which three songs will make it through. Nothing stands out tonight, to be honest. Unusual.

And we're back. Voting is over and the results will be revealed. Again, I really can't hope to guess. Such a weird lineup tonight. I am torn. Obviously I hope that the two I voted for will get through. And I think they have a good chance. But I really don't know. Cocktail Slippers might be good too. They'd be fun and stand out a bit in the final, if nothing else. I just really hope that Crush doesn't get through, but I fear I'm in for a disappointment.

First entry through is ... Crush. Of course. Dagnabbit. I will be SO embarrassed if we send this to Baku. My only consolation is that she at least came in third. I really wasn't longing to hear this one more time.

Second place goes to ... Make It Better! Yay! This was definitely tonight's strongest entry. And I'll enjoy hearing it again, unlike ... well. This is something that could theoretically have a chance in Baku, so I'm glad my countrymen were sensible enough to vote for it. :-)

I really think Plumbo have what it takes to make it to the top at least on this level of the contest, so they may end up taking the last place in the final tonight. Ooh, the excitement ... !

And tonight's winner is ... the audience seems divided ... it's ... yup, Ola nordmann. Not really a major surprise. :-) Aw, they're so happy. Suck on that, antiracists. It'd be fun if they won the whole thing. We'd probably bomb in Baku (I'm tempted to say again :-) but who cares, we'd be sending something totally different yet again, and not at all a bad song. And the guys are soo happy. Aw. :-) A good time was had by all. :-)

Kleine kids

Den siste tida har jeg innsett at jeg ikke er inne i slangen de unge bruker nå til dags. Det er jeg forsåvidt glad for. Jeg hadde egentlig trodd at jeg ikke helt hadde mistet kontakten med ungdommens språk, men jo, det har jeg nok, og det er slett ikke det verste som kan skje. Når jeg tok Aftenpostens språktest her om dagen fikk jeg opplyst at jeg har en språklig alder på ... hva var det nå, 74 år? Bare fordi jeg ikke er så tett i nøtta at jeg tror at det heter et hamster. >:-(

Men i alle fall. Jeg har skjønt at jeg ikke vet hvordan ungdommen snakker, og denne innsikten har jeg oppnådd gjennom massemedia. Til og med Dagbladet har altså fortsatt sin misjon. Som alle gamle avfeldige knarker som ikke forstår verden rundt seg lenger irriterer også jeg meg over hvordan disse unge jyplingene maltrakterer språket vårt. Det er spesielt to ord som irriterer meg i ekstrem grad og som jeg nå bare må beklage meg over.

Det ene er adjektivet kleint, som tydeligvis er det helt store dilleordet for tiden, av en eller annen ubegripelig grunn. Det må være svært mye brukt - alle unge kvasikjendiser, fra Trekanttullinger til jockeyer som har sett døden i hvitøyet, og en lang rekke helt ukjente brødhuer, blir sitert på dette ordet. Da kan jeg knapt forestille meg hvor ofte de bruker det i dagligtalen, hvis de er villige til å la seg forevige i landets største aviser med så idiotiske utsagn. Hvor kommer dette fra? Dansk? Tysk? Det virker ikke særlig kebabnorsk. Men det er i hvert fall utrolig irriterende.

Dog ikke på langt nær så irriterende som det faktum at nordmenn nå tydeligvis har begynt å bruke ordet kids når de mener barn eller unger. Dette begynte vel som noe hipsterironisk, at de som var hakket eldre skulle virke underholdende nedlatende mot generasjonene under seg ved å kalle dem for kidsa. Men nå har det altså gått over i mainstream, dessverre, og det ser ut til å brukes som om det var et virkelig ord, et normalt ord. Og ikke bare av ungdommen heller - folk som hevder seg å være småbarnsforeldre bruker det. Jeg er far til to kids, for eksempel. Hæ? Er du en geitebukk, eller hva er det du innbiller deg at du sier?

På tross av at det norske språket er langt fra fattig sliter jeg med å uttrykke hvor enormt irriterende jeg synes dette ordet og bruken av det er. Språket vårt er ikke fattig, men om det noen gang blir det, så kommer det til å være på grunn av disse personene som bruker slike ord. Er du en av dem? Du skulle faen meg hatt deg en på trynet.

Luke 6:41

I know, you don't often find me quoting the bible on this blog. Or anywhere else, for that matter. But right now it says exactly what I want to say.

Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?

Has anyone else been following the debate - if that's the word I want - on what to do about the recent assault rape epidemic here in Oslo? Fabian Stang, our mayor, said something sensible on the issue this weekend ... that maybe we should consider trying to get some kind of control of the asylum seekers (quite a few of them probably no longer asylum seekers, but illegal immigrants) who are committing an absolutely grotesque percentage of these criminal acts. Of course the PC brigade was immediately up in arms and frothing at the mouth, as per usual, over this hideously racist idea. :-(

The amazing thing is that these people really don't see the logs in their own eyes. They critize Stang for branding a whole group as criminals, and stigmatizing people by generalizing in this way. I disagree with that, I don't think Stang is stigmatizing these uncivilized barbarians, I think they manage that just fine on their own. But what I want to point out is how their argument then continues. It's pretty amazing.

Let me see if I can sum it up here. I've seen this argument, if that's the word I want, pop up a number of times in the past few days. This problem has to do with attitudes that men have. Rapes happen because men need an attitude adjustment. Here it's explained over eight paragraphs. Men are the problem.

Stigmatizing whole groups and overgeneralizing is a really bad thing, mmkay?

When I grow up ...

... I want to get a job in the equal rights factory. I just need to learn a little bit about the trade first, like what measurement unit is used for equal rights.

Is this guy trolling now, or what is this?

Our high percentage of women in the workplace is one of the most important reasons why our economy is so much better than in other countries. Srsly? It's not because of the oil?

This is why this nation is going to have an absolutely brutal awakening the day that very finite resource runs out. We don't have leaders, or politicians generally, that talk about what really needs doing and how we can get it done. What are we going to live on when the oil's all gone? Seriously? Sure, he's not saying that the oil isn't important. Just that equal rights are more important. o_O Having women work and pay taxes, and not just men, means a lot more resources being pumped into our economy. I get that that's what he's saying. But.

Isn't it the case right now that something like 75% of all Norwegian women above the age of 20 are actually already in the workforce? I think that in the age group 30-49 it's 80%, or maybe even closer to 85%. So how much exactly does Lysbakken think we have to go on? The overwhelming majority of Norwegian women already work. I despair at a leading figure in national politics actually thinking that that is the issue.

Then again, anyone who'd name their child 'Aurora' clearly has some kind of problem.

Free Bård Hoksrud

Yes, I know the headline is flippant - he hasn't been imprisoned and of course he won't be, either. But it's my blog and I'll be flippant if I want to.

Brief recap: Progress Party MP Bård Hoksrud was in Riga recently and made the mistake of visiting a brothel, where he paid an employee for sex. I call it a mistake because he is married, and had not agreed on this visit with his wife beforehand. The visit to the brothel, not to Riga. ;-) I feel really bad for his wife, this must be so upsetting for her.

But for the media, it's a goldmine. Because, get this, here in Norway it's illegal to pay for sex. It's legal to sell it, just not to buy it. Screwy, I know. But it's even crazier than it sounds - it's even illegal for Norwegian citizens to pay for sex in countries where it's legal to pay for sex. You know, like in Latvia, say. So now that Hoksrud has been busted for this, he has committed a crime ... it will go on his criminal record and he has to pay a fine of 25,000 crowns. And he will go down in history as the first Norwegian ever to be sentenced for this crime. Poor guy.

How did he get busted, you ask? Well, he went on this trip not as an MP or as a party representative, but as a private citizen. Yet he traveled with two, or was it three, members of the party's youth organization. Not sure what's up with that, but he's relatively young, 38, so I guess they're his friends. Ahead of the trip, someone tipped off our biggest commercial TV channel, TV2, that Hoksrud was going to be using prostitutes while in Riga, so these damn hyenas sent over a camera crew that filmed the man with a concealed camera. They interviewed the prostitute and I don't know what all. Now they pretend to be proud of themselves. Scum.

So, talk about questionable tactics ... and for something so irrelevant to the general public. Not that I had a lot of respect for TV2, or the media in general, before this, but now it's definitely dropped several notches. If only they would be honest and admit that they do it for the ratings ... but no, it's for the public good. Gag me with a spoon.

One of the most annoying things about this is that pretty much every reporter you can find says that it's total BS what the Progress Party is saying that the media is out to get them and is giving them a much harder time than everyone else. Of course not, it's because they really are worse people than others, so they bring it on themselves. And then on the Daily Review tonight - this Hoksrud thing was the lead story - there's another piece of news about a mayor somewhere in ... Oppland county, I think? ... who's being charged with the sexual abuse of a minor. Supposedly he's been having sex with a girl who was only 13 when it started. Bad and wrong, totally. But was he named? No. Was the town named? No. Was his party affiliation given? No. Remind me again, how many hours did it take before Trond Birkedal's name was splashed all over the front pages ... ?

Anyway. This post is basically to say that I think TV2's methods are completely beyond the pale and that I think it's horrible how Hoksrud has been put in the metaphorical stocks after this happened. The law against buying sex is ridiculous, and it's absolutely idiotic that it supposedly applies in other countries too. Yes, I do get the argument that those who make the law should also follow the law. But some laws are just wrong. I wish I could say that I think that as a principle, I think the law should be obeyed, regardless of what it is ... that this is essential to the functioning of a civilized society ... but I don't really have any principles, and I break another law every day with a clear conscience and never a second thought. It's a bad law, it should be broken. And I can certainly not accept that Norwegian law should trump the laws of other sovereign states in the territories of those states.

Hoksrud was against the law from the start, is still against it and voted against it when it was passed in Parliament. As, IMO, every sensible MP ought to have done. (And maybe did ... >:-) I am absolutely not a Progress Party fan, but I am totally with them on this one. Would our politicians really accept this in reverse? In Spain, for instance, the age of consent is 13. Here in Norway, it's 16. Is it OK for a Spanish citizen to come to Norway and have sex with 14-year-olds? If not, why? That's the law in his country, after all. But no, it wouldn't be OK, because Norwegian law applies in Norway ... just like Latvian law applies in Latvia, and under Latvian law it's perfectly legal to pay for sex. So that this is even an issue is ridiculous.

What should be the case under discussion here, and what TV2 should be looking into, is who tipped them off and why. Does someone want to get Hoksrud out of politics, and if so, why? Someone clearly has a grudge against the guy ... and it's someone pretty close to him too, obviously. Now that's something I find interesting. But obviously that doesn't sell as well as a sex scandal. >:-(

A pundit was on the Daily Review tonight too, discussing the whole thing with some talking head from TV2 ... he said that the problem here is the techniques the reporters used, and that even though 'no one condones what Hoksrud has done' they totally crossed the line by following him like they did. Which, yes, was a gross invasion of his privacy and they should be prosecuted for it. But I want to say that I for one do condone what Hoksrud did. I have no problem with it. It should be legal. Yes, it was wrong of him to hurt his wife's feelings as he has no doubt done ... but that is the only thing he has done that any of us can condemn him for. But just paying for sex? I personally would never be a prostitute and my instinct is that it must be a pretty shitty job (but I know I'm wrong in some cases), but if one party is willing to pay and the other party is willing to sell, then I really don't see the problem.

Hoksrud was on the news too, and he was interviewed by some NRK reporter who stuck a microphone in his face while he said all the usual things about how he was so sorry and it was a crazy mistake and he's never done such a thing before. The reporter actually had the gall to ask, 'Can you say with your hand on your heart that you have never paid for sex before?'

Hoksrud was all contrite and said he totally accepted culpability, etc. But what he should have said was, IMO:

That's none of your fucking business, bitch!!

It's none of any of our business. This is between Hoksrud and his wife. I don't know what political life in this country is coming to if this is seriously as big a deal as all that. The guy is human, OMG, stop the press! >:-( Aside from the fact that I would never vote for his party, if I was in his constituency, I would seriously consider voting for him now.

Jeg skulle nesten ønske ...

... at jeg bodde i Balsfjord. For de har nå offisielt den kuleste lokalpolitikeren noensinne i kommunerådet sitt. (Eller er det byråd? Er Balsfjord en by? o_O Alle slags tullesteder kan jo bli by i våre dager.) Han heter Helge Solvang, han er 98 år gammel og når han ble spurt av VG på nett hvordan han kom til å bli som politiker var dette svaret hans:

Jeg skal være som Fantomet.

Hard mot de harde.

Helge Solvang for president!! :-D

I love Norway

Check this out. No beer sales today September 12th 2011 due to elections. Gotta love it.

I haven't been feeling too good about this election ... several reasons for that, one of them being that I've been so conflicted about what to vote. Basically I think all the political parties suck ass and I don't want to vote for any of them. But I have to vote. Also the campaign in general has been so crappy ... I haven't followed it, it's all just talk, and coming from the wrong people too. Argh. What to do?

Well, obviously, the thing to do is to read all the party programs and then decide based on that. I basically just need a party whose basic outlook I agree with and who are sensible on the majority of issues ... public transport, privatization, housing, the woodline, parks and green areas, integration, schools ... things like that ... plus there are a few specific issues that I feel strongly about that I need to know where 'my' party stands. Local issues here in Oslo. I am against the sculpture park at Ekeberg, I want the Munch museum to stay at Tøyen and I don't want the viking ships to be moved.

So, I ended up a first time voter for the Green Party. And even though I haven't been enthusiastic about this election at all, I feel pretty good about it now, I feel that I have contributed and helped make a difference, because the results are coming in and the Greens now look set to get a seat on the city council for the first time. Yay. :-)

Mmm, berries

Swedish raspberries and Norwegian blueberries. Yum. :-)

Oslo yesterday

Widescreen.

Same, but better

Does anyone remember this blog post - pictures I posted back in March of an unfortunate situation where someone had left a bike locked to a rain gutter, but had left it there rather too long? Bike having become partially enclosed by ice? Well, here's the same thing again, but so much prettier. Bike left locked to a lamppost by the cathedral ... now become partially enclosed by the sea of flowers surrounding the building in memory of the July 22nd victims.

More

Widescreen.

Drammen, July 24th, 2011

Better or worse?

So, a bomb outside the Government Buildings in Oslo this afternoon, and a shooting spree at Utøya (for many years the site of the annual summer camp for the youth division of our powerful Labor Party). Seven dead downtown, ten so far at Utøya, although police think this latter number will rise as they search the island more thoroughly. Worst disaster in this country since WWII and our first experience with terrorism at home.

I wasn't surprised by the bombing ... sounds cynical, but seriously, it was only a matter of time. Those of you who think anything else are kidding yourselves. In a kind of creepy way we should be happy it was at the Government Buildings rather than somewhere more picturesque, like Parliament. That's a building worth keeping, unlike what was destroyed today. Yes, of course the loss of life is tragic, I'm not saying it's not. But people would have died in any attack on the Parliament building too, and it's far more valuable than almost any other building in town. So ... it can always be worse, is what I'm saying. But where was I.

We had to have something like this in Oslo sooner or later, so this wasn't a major surprise. Weird to see such familiar places on TV in such a setting ... I go by there pretty often on my way to the library. I was on my way out of the city when the bomb went off, I heard the blast, but didn't know what it was, no one on the bus was worried. I only heard that it was a bomb later. The shocking part of this, for me, is the attack against Utøya. An island, chock full of naive teenagers. You've got to be pretty scummy to go after a place like that. I did not see that one coming. A nasty surprise.

Another surprise is that the brain behind these events - and a clever brain it must be, because this has been long in the planning - seems to be our very own homegrown Timothy McVeigh. (Name to be released, or if not, leaked, before long, no doubt.) Of course we Norwegians produce our share of criminals and crazies too - yet another reason why we have no need to be importing more of them - and I'm sure it's just because I'm such a racist bigot that I was surprised by this. My instant thought was that this must have been the work, if that's the word I want, of some bunch of crazy Islamists. What with our soldiers in Afghanistan, our bombers in Libya, those pesky cartoons being printed and reprinted and now Najumuddin Faraj Ahmad being brought up on charges, and only this week too ... these all seem to provide plenty of reason to dislike us filthy pork-eating infidels. But that reaction was clearly in very bad taste, I don't know what I was thinking. Where do I get these crazy ideas?? Clearly out of thin air. In the future I must curb my racist thoughts better.

Seriously, forget about Afghanistan and all that crap - as the events of the evening have unfolded I think the entire scenario has changed completely. I don't think this was an attack against Norway, the Norwegian state or the Norwegian people at all. I think it was an attack directed at the Labor Party. As crazy as that sounds. It's Utøya that's the sticking point here. Who attacks Utøya?? Seriously, if you don't have some nasty beef with Labor, how would you even start getting ideas about Utøya? I'm thinking that this is a guy who has taken in a little too much of the hate-filled rhetoric of the current government's grassroots opposition, and decided to do something about it. Which means that immigration is extremely likely to have been a major factor in this anyway. Gods, I'm tired of hearing about immigration. But I'll have to keep hearing about it till I die.

So that's my theory. Unhinged but intelligent man with a serious grudge against Labor and its many members. (I don't know where I ever could have gotten this insane idea that Muslims might have been involved, it's shameful. But don't worry, I'm sure it was just me thinking that.) We already have a serial killer (who I actually met once, but that's another blog post), now we have a mass murderer too. We're catching up with our friends. I'm not sure if it's better or worse this way, though. If your daughter is brutally murdered, is it worse if it turns out it was your nephew who did it, rather than some random stranger she met at a bar? Or is it better? I hardly know which to choose.

In closing, I'd like to say to Lars Helle, editor in chief of Dagbladet: FUCK YOU. You have some goddamn nerve. YOUR newspaper takes it upon itself to warn the rest of us against 'judging prematurely and spreading rumors'?? FUCK YOU. If I was Erik Schjenken right now and I read that piece of garbage that you probably think of as an interview, I might be inspired to plant a little bomb of my own. You make me sick.

Norges beste journalist?

Det er nødt til å være Bernt Jakob Oksnes. Han er rett og slett helt fantastisk. Delvis hvordan han skriver, og delvis de tingene han velger å skrive om. Jeg regner med at alle som leser dette og som kan norsk har lest artikkelen hans Den usynlige. Hvis ikke, så gjør det nå, umiddelbart!! Det var den han fikk Den store journalistprisen for, og det kunne ikke vært mer velfortjent.

Nå har han gjort det igjen ... eller rettere sagt gjorde han det for et par uker siden, men artikkelen har ikke blitt publisert på nett før nå. Denne artikkelen om en ung jente i Bergen som har en progeriarelatert tilstand. 17 år, men allerede gammel. Hun er den eneste i Norge med progeria. Ikke eneste nordmann, for hun er innvandrer, foreldrene er tyskere. Progeria er så sjeldent at det ikke finnes noen nordmenn som har det - det er for få av oss. Kan ikke tenke meg at det er så veldig mange tyskere som har det heller. Hun fikk heldigvis reist til USA for noen år siden og truffet noen andre progeriabarn. Artikkelen handler om ... livet hennes, tankene hennes, familien hennes. Så velskrevet og rørende og tankevekkende og i det hele tatt. Les! :-)

Tittelen på artikkelen er ganske lang, det er et sitat, noe Henriette som artikkelen handler om har sagt. Det er så godt sagt, og så sant.

Meningen med livet er å gjøre det beste ut av den levetida du har fått.

Oslo from the water

Some pictures from last weekend. Not very good ones. What can I say, Oslo isn't all that pretty. And the weather wasn't all that good. What are you gonna do. :-)

Crazy story

This is a crazy story from real life that I haven't thought about for a really long time, but I just remembered it today because of all fuss about Arne Treholt. Again. It's probably mean, but I gotta say it ... I am seriously sick of that guy. To the point where I don't really care whether he did it or not, I just want him to go the hell away. Anyway.

This happened on the airport express bus from Torp one time I was coming home from England. About ten years ago. I think it was the summer of 2000. I'd been traveling for hours and was getting pretty tired, and when I got on the bus I remember thinking that I hoped no one would sit next to me, and if someone did, hopefully not a talker. I just really wanted to sit quietly and relax and stare out the window, basically. But no such luck. The bus ended up being chock full and of course the person who ended up in the seat next to mine wasn't only the chattiest guy on board, but the craziest too.

He started out seeming kind of normal, but he quickly veered off into serious bizarroland. I don't remember all of it now - nowhere near all of it, and maybe that's just as well - because there was a lot of it. All kinds of crazy conspiracy shit. Of course the government is out to get us all and Norwegian society is rotten to the core, it's unbelievable. I was really fascinated, because he really was incredibly normal, you never would have guessed what a nutcase he was from looking at him, or, in fact, even from talking with him, if he didn't start saying all these crazy things. He really gave the impression of having a firm grip on reality. It was really interesting.

What I do remember that he told me, though, was about the Orderud case. (Now those people I am even more sick of than I am of Treholt. Lock 'em up and throw away the keys, I don't care, just keep them out of the media at absolutely any cost.) He knew something SO serious about that case, and he knew so much more, all these things that when they came out they would just blow the establishment sky high. It was him and this one other guy, they had been collaborating for year and had collected so much information. Our entire society, according to my temporary friend, is completely corrupt, and it reaches up into the highest level, you'd never believe it, but the info he was sitting on was enough to topple the government. Which it totally would. And soon.

Now I'm starting to think that this happened in 2001 ... ? Because I remember him saying that all of this info would be presented in the media before the next election, and that was specifically in reference to the parliamentary election of 2001. So this may have been early summer 2001. OK, not that important, but he did say that they had had so much trouble trying to get this out into the media, everything that they knew, they had worked with any number of journalists but they had all chickened out in the end. Of course that was the reason, totally. Now though they had found this really brave guy who would put his neck on the line, and it would all come out, and it would totally rock our collective world. It would change everything about our political life and the election, boy, that'd be anybody's guess.

Not sure I remember anything enormously different about that election. Or the time before it, or the time after. But that's probably just because the government's putting something in my water.

Anyway, back to the Orderud case. Of course the police were barking up the totally wrong tree with this inheritance shit and it was all a coverup, and you wouldn't believe how far up it went. (He didn't tell me how far, just that it was really really far.) What really happened was this. The real target of the murders was Per Paust. But he'd already died on his own, right? But he had known something - which was what he was supposed to have been killed for - and before he died he told his wife. So she had to be eliminated. And she might have told her parents, or maybe she definitely had, I don't remember, so they had to go too. That was the reason. But what was it that he knew?

OK, so, this was not that long after the documents had been released in the Treholt case. And of course my bus buddy had copies of every single document. Of course. BUT. He had somehow gotten to see these papers before they were released, and had copied them then too, AND GET THIS - three pages that had been in the original files were now different, with different information. Someone had swapped them with other papers. He had them at home, blown up onto oversized plastic sheets for an overhead projector. It was really really important that they were oversized, for some reason. I'm not entirely clear on that. But the point is that there was info in these three pages that SOMEONE doesn't want people to know, and Paust knew what that info was and that was why he had to die. It's all because of Treholt. Paust apparently worked with him at some point. Or so my informer told me ... I actually haven't looked into it, crazy as that sounds.

This guy is to me the epitome of the crazy conspiracy theorist. It was fun talking to him, but thinking back I see him as a very sad character. It was just so obvious to me that he had an enormous need to feel important and special, his life was pretty empty and he was clinging on to this worldview he had constructed for himself as a way of forcing meaning into life. That really is sad. And it makes me think that there really is absolutely no way you can talk sense to a conspiracy nut. They are just way too emotionally invested in it. They can't let go of what they believe, because that would leave only reality behind, and for some reason they can't face that, they have to self-protect with their conspiracy of choice.

Kind of makes me think of Arne Treholt, actually. o_O