How goddamn difficult is it ...

... to use a fucking escalator??!

When I was a little girl there were signs in shopping malls and train stations explaining how to use these incredibly simple devices.* These days you never see signs like that. Why the hell not?? It is SO painfully obvious that they are desperately needed. Bring back the written instructions, people are fucking idiots and NEED INSTRUCTIONS.

The group that suck hardest at using escalators is immigrants. Ie, people who are obviously immigrants, so, not from the first world. I don't know where these people come from, primitive backwards places with no escalators perhaps, because they clearly find them extremely difficult to use properly. You people need to connect with practical reality. To borrow a phrase from the one and only Eric Cartman, I hate you guys.

The second suckiest group is teenagers. Can be of any ethnicity. This should come as no surprise, because teenagers are retards. You also dress like idiots. I hate you even more.

The third group now appears to be growing and slowly reaching out to enfold EVERYONE ELSE IN THE CITY. What the fuck is wrong with people?? How can it be difficult to just use an escalator like a normal civilized considerate human being with the tiniest shred of intelligence?!

I don't understand how this can be difficult for people, but it very clearly is. They actually need help to carry out this extremely simple task. They need someone to make this clear for them.

STAND TO YOUR RIGHT.
WALK TO YOUR LEFT.

THERE I FIXED IT.

Oh, if only!!! Merry fucking Christmas.

*By 'incredibly simple' I mean simple to use, not to construct and maintain. No offense intended to any escalator repair technician who may be reading this. You guys do a great job.