Who’d’a thunk it!!

I usually always bitch and complain about Dagbladet (Norway's second biggest print newspaper, number one online) and I do think that I generally do so with good reason. I mean, they just suck so bad. They're a pathetic parody of a newspaper. And that's so sad, because they used to be good. I mean it, they did. I've been reading this paper for 20 years and I remember it from my childhood and teen years as being a really good paper. I think most people will agree with me on that. So it's been really sad watching them self-destruct as they have been doing over the past few years. Celebrity gossip, sex stories, 'human interest', so-called self-help or whatever you want to call it … 'We want to help you feel good about you!' … there’s such a constant focus on the unimportant and the personal that maintaining interest becomes impossible. And then we have to watch them and hear them whine and complain about how their sales are dropping, and they've tried everything and nothing works, bwaaah. It is so pathetic. Because the reason for their lousy sales is so obvious to everyone except them.

They've turned the paper into irrelevant crap that people don't want to read.

This results in lower sales. Do you really have to be a rocket scientist to figure that out? I gotta say no … because I've obviously figured it out, and I can tell you this for nothing, I'm no rocket scientist.

Anyway. One of the things I resent them for is their front page stories. These often feature completely irrelevant things; consumer affairs is a big one, for instance. I mean, when a hideous emergency is ongoing in the Congo, you'd think they could think of something more important to put on the front page than, I don't know, their predictions for which cars will be the biggest selling models this winter. Just as an example. They also do what all tabloids with no respect for themselves do – emphasize certain words in their headlines to draw prospective buyers' interest, in a very speculative way. You know, SEX or MURDER or STABBING or GUILTY … the list goes on. This normally gets my hackles up in a big way. But not yesterday.

Yesterday, Dagbladet had the bestest cover ever. I fell over myself laughing. I guess I shouldn't have, I guess that was really immature. But there you go. Maybe I wouldn't have laughed if this hadn't been a politician I really resent, but, well, she's so awful that I can't force myself to feel any sympathy for her. That's life, bitch. This cover was just so great in so many ways. Look at it:

Translation:
Demands
apology after
lesbian
gossip

Basically some guy on an early morning TV show said something about her being gay and that is so insulting to her, apparently. (I know, WTF? And he even said it as a joke, too. Way to out yourself as slightly homophobic and with no sense of humor, Ms Jensen.) Another totally unimportant story that should not be on the front page. But just look at what they've done with it. It's brilliant. I love it. It's meta.

Can you tell that Dagbladet don't like this woman either … ? ;-)

They wouldn't say so. But with covers like these, they don't have to. :-D